just f.y.i.

i've used the word,crotch, twice now in my post, in the past month. just f.y.i.

This is dedicated to the first man I ever loved..

To those of you who know me, know I'm a bit boy crazy. Well now, I just love one boy, my dear,sweet husband...well him and zac efron. Actually him, zac efron, and josh duhammel. Anyway, anyway, waaayyy off the subject. This is about my first love....

I was three when I saw you and you put a special twinkle in my eye. Oh, Michael, you had me at your Thriller album. I would unfold the record cover and there you were all perfect in your white suit and laying on a tiger skin blanket. So to die for. I remember watching "The Making of Thriller" with my older brother and sister everyday, a hundred times a day. My head and shoulder twitch a little bit just thinking of it. I pretended that the sidewalk would light up as I was singing "Billy Jean" down my street. You know how records have lines on them, ya, i knew which line to put the record needle on where you came in on "We Are the World". Oh my, and then there was "Smooth Criminal" and you uttered the words, "Annie are you o.k." and my heart just melted. There was a time you left us for a while, but then you came back with "Black and White." My family crowded around the tv waiting for the video to premiere on MTV. Oh my gosh it was HUGE! What a treat it was, because not only were you in it, but the second love of my life, Macaulay Culkin appeared. Life could not get better. I got a little creeped out when you were naked with Lisa Marie in "You Are Not Alone", but I never ever faltered! However, I want to remember you like this...

Not so much this...


You were the first love of my life, you will be missed terribly. Tonight, in your memory,I will grab my crotch and say "He,He" one last time. Love you Michael!

blue babies, poligamists, and cat pinching...oh my!

What a night! I started the evening out with a bang...well, a blue bang. I began by teaching Dad how to change his 3 month old's trach. This is a two man job, one must hold the trach and one must change the ties that hold it on. As I was undoing the ties, dad didn't have a good graps on the trach (it was his first time...what a trooper and such an amazing father). Anyway, trach pops out, and me not seeing that it was kinked, baby turns completely blue head to toe. Dad stays super calm and starts bagging him and I am watching his oxygen drop and drop and drop. I look down finally and see it's kinked and quickly change it out with the new one. WOOOOOOOO!!! Pinked up right away and got his oxygen popped right up! Mom and dad are awesome! Never panicked. I wish I could say the same thing....as soon as I left the room, I went into our lounge and shook for a while. so scary.
Then I went to the next patient...Hola if you are from Colorado City!! Great parents! They have a 9 year old that just had to get a trach (has a genetic disorder). They have been learning so fast, I am so proud of them, but I just really wanted to tweeze her eyebrows and put on little mascara. Is that mean? Probably..oh well.
Next patient...yikes.
Cutest little 2 1/2 month old, mom and dad are being questioned by cops in another room. This is sad, but bare with me, it does get humorous. This baby has some questionable bruises. What is dad's excuse on how baby got those bruises, you ask?
This is a direct quote, "The cat got in the crib and pinched her." I leave that for you to interpret...

all trips are too short

We just got back from the beach a couple of days ago, it always ends too soon.
You just can't get enough sand in your crotch.

enough already

o.k. o.k. so he didn't shake hands with the Magic after they won the Eastern Conference Finals. He was kind of a sore loser, but it was a week ago! A week ago! Stop talking about it!